Frigus Cor

Present….

I often wondered how something so evil, could be so beautiful at the same time.  Then I realized that it is because the evil is so ugly, but the thing itself is breathtaking.

My name is Amare, and this is the story of how I became what I am today.  Am I a monster?  Well, I will leave that for you to decide.  A very wise person once asked me “Does war make monsters, or do monsters make war?” A long time ago I would have said that monsters make war and the heroes fight against it.  But that was a very, very long time ago.  Almost before the beginning of time.  I have now lived three thousand years on this earth, and have learned a great many things.  Things about love.  Things about death.

Past….

“Lady Amare, the warrior, Bellum, has regrouped his army.” My second in command told me as he entered through the flaps of my tent.

“He just never gives up does he.” I phrased it as statement instead of a question and Concilium knew that.  The soldier merely grinned.

“We have fought Bellum a hundred times over, lady.  Why does he continue to wage war against us?”

“Because war is what he craves.  He has created so much chaos that chaos is all he knows.  He grows bored without it.”

“So it’s like a…drug?”

I nodded and smiled just as an explosion erupted overhead.  “Have everyone in ranks in five minutes.  I’ll meet you at the front.” I dawned my helmet and Concilium saluted me before going to carry out my orders.

Five minutes later I marched at the front of an army out to meet Bellum.  The man courted war like most would court women.  It made me sick.  He was the monster that made war.  But would I be made a monster because of war?

The battle looked as if it wouldn’t last long.  Bellum’s troops were driven back as mine advanced.  We were gaining ground and I prayed that Bellum wouldn’t come against us again.  That was when it happened.  The sky became black and the ground cracked open.  Half of my troops were swallowed into the chasm, and the other half were sucked into the sky until only I remained.

Bellum advanced, mace in hand, and laughed at my plight.  “The great lady Amare, all alone.” He mocked.  “You didn’t expect me to have the aid of death on this day, did you?  You have been defeated Amare, bow to me.”

I was trembling and even though I tried to hide it, my efforts were all for naught.  My knees knocked together, my h heart pounded, and my hands shook.  Defeated, I dropped to my knees.  I felt the monster of rage rise within me.  This wasn’t how it was supposed to be.  It was supposed to be Bellum and I, forever at war with one another the way that it had been.  I didn’t realize until I had been defeated that I loved fighting Bellum just as much as he loved fighting me.  My heart was suddenly filled with an incurable bloodlust.  I wanted nothing less than to slit the neck of every single one of my enemies, and bathe in their blood.  I growled at Bellum, my courage suddenly returned to me.  I bared my teeth, which had grown into fangs dripping with blood, and Bellum’s face went from someone in control, to someone terrified.  I arose and screamed, “Bow before me, Bellum, you monster!” I was surprised by my voice’s booming power.

It was Bellum’s turn to fear and shake as he fell on his face.  I raised my arms above me and saw his trembling army.  “You are all mine.” I hissed.  Then it was as if my body shrunk and I was once again Amare, Bellum’s nemesis.  My teeth returned to normal, and I fell to my knees.

Bellum looked up at me, still trembling and groaned.  “Lady, you need fear nothing.  For you were beautiful, and terrifying.  Something that every man fears.”

“I do fear.” I said and held my hand out to my enemy.  “I fear death, and that is that you have brought here today.” Though my body had returned to normal, I still felt bloodlust and hate towards this man before me.  I wanted him dead.  But at the same time, there was another feeling that made its way into my now cold heart.  Love.  I loved Bellum as much as I hated him.

Bellum took my  hand and stood.  “Let us join forces, Amare.  Together we could rule the world.”

“How cliché.” I crooned.  But the anger and hate was still in my veins, a fire that would never be quenched.  “I accept.”

“War makes monster of us all in the end.” Bellum stated.

For years, Bellum and I fought together, destroying all that was in our path.  We loved one another and destroyed entire nations to fuel that love.  And still, through me ran the unquenchable fire of love and hate.  Love and fear.  Love and death.  Yes, I always feared death.  As long as love with the dominant feeling, Bellum was safe.

After six years, love just couldn’t win any longer.  My heart was stone cold, and had lost its ability to show compassion.  Bellum entered our tent and began to strip of his bloody armor.

“Come my love, and help me.” He said, holding his greased arms out so that I would assist.

I turned to face him and my bloody fangs had returned.  “Me?  Help you?!” I raged.

“Amare!” Bellum cried out, fear overtaking him.  “I love you!”

“And you will die for that love.  You, death, will die for love. How ironic.” I fell upon him and my fangs sank into his neck.  Bellum didn’t struggle, only looked at me with eyes filled with grief.  I, who had always feared death, killed the only thing I ever loved.

Present…

That was almost a thousand years ago.  Still to this day the fact that the monster who made war, turned me into a monster myself.  I had thought that fighting evil was the best way to defeat it, but in protecting people, I had lost myself.  So, do monsters make war, or does war make monsters?  The answer is both.  Bellum was a monster who made war, loved death, and eventually died for love.  I was a hero who fought war, feared death, and loved people, and now I live because I killed death.