“All I have are deadlines!” Kara complained, deleting yet another full paragraph from the essay that was due that night no later than eleven fifty-nine PM. “I can’t think, my brain hurts, and I don’t understand anything!” She slammed the lid of her laptop shut, frustrated. A head popped out from behind a shelf filled with books, “Could you maybe be a little quieter? We are in a library you know.” Kara’s eyes widened with horror. Her outburst had been out loud ! “I’m so sorry.” She apologized to the irritated student. “None of that was meant to actually be verbal. I thought I was freaking out in my head.” The student looked at her like she was crazy. “Okay.” He said slowly as he went back to reading whatever book he’d found interesting. “Great.” Kara fell forward onto her laptop and groaned. “I need a break.” She mumbled to herself. “Yeah you do. What are you doing?” Kara recognized the voice that belonged to her best friend, Jackie. “I’m wallowing in my se
I pasted on my smile and changed my voice to happy and enthused. Just a normal day, trying to keep it together. The worst was, I didn’t even know why I felt like I was falling apart. I had an amazing family who loved me no matter what and friends who I knew would always be there for me; my true friends, the fake ones had been rooted out a long time ago. I had a fantastic support system and a very good life. So why did I feel the need to fake smile? Why couldn’t my happy “hello” be genuinely happy? It felt almost selfish and ungrateful to be feeling this way when there were so many amazing people pouring themselves into me. Work was never the same two days in a row. Being a barista wasn’t ever consistent, but that’s how I liked it. I loved my customers, both the old and the new. I loved making different drinks and smiling to myself as I put together how each customer's drink showed me a part of their personality. The ever changing customers and the growing business ex